Top questions about potty learning, answered

Teaching your child to use the potty doesn’t always go as planned 🙃 Sometimes it takes a whilst to get your toddler to try it or you hit a snag after initial success. Whether you just got started or have already experienced a setback, keep reading for answers to some frequently asked toileting questions.

My child seems totally uninterested in the potty. I’ve introduced the idea in a few ways and now they get upset at even a mention of it. I don’t want this to become a power struggle. What can I do?

In a word—pause ❤️

Toileting can be influenced by adults, but ultimately, your child needs to be developmentally and emotionally ready. Take a break from the potty for now and revisit it in a few weeks. Right now, it’s important to keep the pressure off. You may find the process goes more smoothly. 

Here’s what you can do in the meantime to support your child’s potty learning:

Try stand-up nappy changes. Do this in the bathroom to help your child associate wee and poo with using the potty. If it’s a wet nappy, you can ask your child to throw it out in the rubbish bin. If there’s poo in their nappy, put the poo in the potty and invite them to flush. Then wash hands as part of the routine. 

Keep a small potty in the bathroom. This way, your child can explore or sit on it whenever they’re interested. 

Make the potty a fun place to be. Invite your child to pick out some books or even small toys to put in a basket next to their potty. Some of the books can be about using the potty, but not all have to be. Periodically switch up the books and toys to keep them interesting. 

Show them how you do it. If you’re comfortable, invite your child into the toilet with you to watch the process. You might ask if they want to flush for you and wash your hands together. 

Plant the seed during pretend play. Try using an empty tissue box to make a pretend “potty,” then invite your child to help their favourite cuddly toy or doll sit on it. If your child isn’t interested or wants to do something else, follow their lead and introduce the idea again another time. 

My toddler will wee in the potty but seems really afraid to poo. How can I help?

Physiologically, your child will have bowel control before they have bladder control. Still, it’s common for some children to consistently wee in the potty whilst preferring to poo in a nappy. They may be fearful of things like the sound of flushing or even worry that they’re losing a part of themselves when they poo. Children who feel pressured to poo in the potty may also exert their own power and control by refusing.

Whatever your child’s reason, you can help them learn by continuing to explore doing a poo in the potty in a low-key way.

Acknowledge poo in their nappies or misses in a neutral way. For example, you could say, “Oh! You did a poo in your nappy. Let’s flush the poo down the toilet and wash our hands.”

Read books about doing a poo. Books like “Ready to Go: Poo”—available in The Realist Play Kit Book Bundle—can help normalise the potty process.

Visit the potty on your child’s schedule. Try to notice when your child is most likely to poo during the day and coordinate visits to the potty around those times.

Play the “Ready to Go Potty” Song. Lovevery’s potty song can encourage your child to tune into their body’s signals and normalise the process of using the toilet. Listen here or find it on Spotify, Apple Music, or Amazon Music.

My child was using the potty regularly—no problem. Now they’re suddenly resistant and having a lot of accidents. Why is this happening?

It’s common for toddlers to lose interest in using the potty, even after showing initial enthusiasm and success. Potty learning isn’t linear—many children have ups and downs in the process. Disruptions to the family routine, being sick, or feeling pressure can all lead to a regression. Fortunately, these regressions are often short-lived.

What to do when your child experiences a potty regression

Lower the pressure. Sometimes the potty becomes less interesting after the novelty and excitement wear off. Your child may just need more time and practice before they’re ready. Try keeping a small potty in the bathroom for them to sit on when or if they feel like it or read books about using the potty. Returning to low-key potty exploration can help you both feel less stressed and prevent a power struggle.

Take potty misses in stride. When your child does have a miss, approach it matter of factly. Work together to change their clothes and clean up, including putting soiled clothes in the wash. This can help your child notice and feel the wetness and discomfort of a miss without feeling shame or embarrassment. 

Be patient through routine disruptions. Changes in your 2-year-old’s life—like the birth of a new sibling, starting a new daycare, learning a new motor skill, or dropping a nap—can lead to potty learning hiccups. Once things get back to normal, it will be easier for your child to focus on using the potty again. 

Consider returning to nappies. If your child is having a lot of “misses” or emotions about using the potty, you may want to give them a break. It’s okay to return to nappies for a little whilst until they seem more open to it and any negative feelings have faded.