{"id":21095,"date":"2022-03-16T17:57:23","date_gmt":"2022-03-16T16:57:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.lovevery.eu\/?p=21095"},"modified":"2025-04-22T23:00:53","modified_gmt":"2025-04-22T21:00:53","slug":"pourquoi-il-ne-faut-pas-imposer-un-calin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.lovevery.eu\/fr\/developpement-de-lenfant\/pourquoi-il-ne-faut-pas-imposer-un-calin\/","title":{"rendered":"Pourquoi il ne faut pas imposer un c\u00e2lin, par Jessica Rolph, PDG de Lovevery"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\u00ab Va faire un c\u00e2lin \u00e0 Mamie ! \u00bb \u00ab Tonton Matthieu adore te pincer les joues. \u00bb \u00ab Tu ne veux pas m\u2019embrasser ? Je vais \u00eatre triste ! \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Je dois \u00eatre honn\u00eate : c\u2019est un sujet difficile pour moi. Je veux que mes enfants soient affectueux avec les gens que nous aimons, alors je me retrouve souvent \u00e0 encourager (trop fortement ?) un baiser ou un c\u00e2lin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Les discussions sur la notion de \u00ab consentement \u00bb sont nombreuses en ce moment, et c\u2019est ce qui m\u2019a amen\u00e9e \u00e0 m\u2019interroger sur le bon moment pour laisser le choix \u00e0 mes enfants sur la fa\u00e7on dont ils t\u00e9moignent leur affection. Ce qui est difficile, c\u2019est que mes enfants veulent parfois tout simplement refuser, et je veux respecter cela, mais t\u00e9moigner physiquement son affection envers les gens que nous aimons le plus compte vraiment beaucoup pour moi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Je sais que donner aux enfants le pouvoir et les outils n\u00e9cessaires pour choisir leur mani\u00e8re de montrer leur affection peut avoir un impact \u00e9norme sur leur capacit\u00e9 \u00e0 fixer des limites plus tard. Tester, commenter et jouer diff\u00e9rents sc\u00e9narios, mais aussi donner \u00e0 son enfant un langage sp\u00e9cifique pour exprimer ses choix peut vraiment favoriser son autonomie.<\/p>\n\n
<\/div>\n\n
Comment aider votre enfant \u00e0 d\u00e9velopper sa compr\u00e9hension du consentement :<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Donner l\u2019exemple<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Avant d\u2019\u00e9treindre ou d\u2019embrasser votre enfant, efforcez-vous de lui demander l\u2019autorisation : \u00ab je peux te faire un bisou ? \u00bb. Il vous dira certainement oui, mais dans le cas contraire, respectez sa demande et essayez de ne pas montrer votre d\u00e9ception (cela me demande beaucoup d\u2019efforts). Ils savent ainsi qu\u2019ils ont le droit de faire des choix concernant leur corps et que vous respecterez ces choix.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Repenser les chatouilles<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
L\u2019essentiel \u00e0 propos des chatouilles est que, lorsque votre enfant dit \u00ab arr\u00eate \u00bb ou \u00ab non \u00bb, vous devez arr\u00eater \u2013 imm\u00e9diatement. Cela peut \u00eatre d\u00e9routant parce que, quand on s\u2019amuse et que l\u2019on rigole \u00e0 ce point, on a naturellement envie de continuer. Dans notre famille, nous avons \u00e9tabli la r\u00e8gle suivante : lorsque quelqu\u2019un dit \u00ab stop \u00bb ou \u00ab non \u00bb pendant une s\u00e9ance de chatouilles, nous nous arr\u00eatons, car cela peut facilement aller trop loin. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Les enfants peuvent \u00e9galement envoyer des signaux non verbaux pour exprimer qu\u2019ils en ont assez : ils cambrent le dos, raidissent les bras et les jambes ou essaient de s\u2019\u00e9chapper. Tous ces \u00e9l\u00e9ments doivent \u00eatre interpr\u00e9t\u00e9s comme une \u00ab injonction d\u2019arr\u00eater \u00bb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Enseigner que le consentement doit \u00eatre mutuel<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Pour expliquer la notion de consentement \u00e0 un enfant de deux ans, vous pouvez lui dire \u00ab chacun a le droit de d\u00e9cider pour son propre corps \u00bb. Expliquez-lui que lorsque quelqu\u2019un lui dit \u00ab arr\u00eate de me toucher \u00bb, il doit \u00e9couter cette personne, m\u00eame si ce contact tactile \u00e9tait acceptable quelques instants auparavant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Encourager un dialogue ouvert<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Faites preuve d\u2019ouverture et de sinc\u00e9rit\u00e9 lorsque votre enfant manifeste son int\u00e9r\u00eat pour le corps ; r\u00e9pondez \u00e0 ses questions aussi honn\u00eatement que possible. Employez les bons termes anatomiques pour d\u00e9signer toutes les parties du corps, y compris celles couvertes par un maillot de bain. Il acquiert ainsi le vocabulaire adapt\u00e9 tout en constatant qu\u2019il est sain et naturel d\u2019\u00eatre curieux.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Proposer des alternatives aux c\u00e2lins et aux bisous<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Je sais, c\u2019est difficile, surtout avec la famille. Il existe d\u2019autres fa\u00e7ons de montrer son amour lorsque l\u2019on salue quelqu\u2019un : un \u00ab check \u00bb poing contre poing ou coude contre coude, un hochement de t\u00eate, un baiser souffl\u00e9 ou un signe de la main. Un enfant de deux ans a besoin de se voir proposer des choix limit\u00e9s. Contentez-vous de lui dire quelque chose comme \u00ab tu veux faire un c\u00e2lin, taper dans la main ou saluer de loin ? \u00bb <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Autoriser \u00e0 parler fermement<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Expliquez \u00e0 votre enfant qu\u2019il est autoris\u00e9 \u2013 et m\u00eame encourag\u00e9 \u2013 \u00e0 formuler un \u00ab NON ! \u00bb ou un \u00ab ARR\u00caTE ! \u00bb haut et clair, lorsque son corps est touch\u00e9 d\u2019une mani\u00e8re qui ne lui convient pas. Vous pouvez tout \u00e0 fait donner l\u2019exemple et pratiquer un jeu de r\u00f4le, d\u2019autant plus qu\u2019il s\u2019agit d\u2019une exception importante aux r\u00e8gles que nous inculquons d\u2019ordinaire \u00e0 nos enfants en mati\u00e8re d\u2019interactions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Leur donner le choix sur d\u2019autres choses<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Avoir le contr\u00f4le est encore r\u00e9cent pour un enfant de deux ans, et il a souvent tr\u00e8s envie d\u2019\u00eatre responsable, que ce soit de son propre corps ou d\u2019autre chose. Lui confier de petites responsabilit\u00e9s, comme choisir son pantalon ou d\u2019autres petites choses au fil de la journ\u00e9e, souligner qu\u2019il est capable de prendre des d\u00e9cisions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
La PDG de Lovevery, Jessica Rolph, explique comment le fait de donner aux enfants les moyens de choisir comment ils montrent leur affection peut les aider \u00e0 \u00e9tablir des limites saines plus tard.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":20854,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"libsyn-item-id":0,"libsyn-show-id":0,"libsyn-post-error":"","libsyn-post-error_post-type":"","libsyn-post-error_post-permissions":"true","libsyn-post-error_api":"","playlist-podcast-url":"","libsyn-episode-thumbnail":"","libsyn-episode-widescreen_image":"","libsyn-episode-blog_image":"","libsyn-episode-background_image":"","libsyn-post-episode-category-selection":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_thumbnail":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_theme":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_height":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_width":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_placement":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_download_link":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_download_link_text":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_custom_color":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-explicit":"","libsyn-post-episode":"","libsyn-post-episode-update-id3":"","libsyn-post-episode-release-date":"","libsyn-post-episode-simple-download":"","libsyn-release-date":"","libsyn-post-update-release-date":"","libsyn-is_draft":"","libsyn-new-media-media":"","libsyn-post-episode-subtitle":"","libsyn-new-media-image":"","libsyn-post-episode-keywords":"","libsyn-post-itunes":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-number":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-season-number":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-type":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-title":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-author":"","libsyn-destination-releases":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data-enabled":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data-input-enabled":false,"libsyn-post-episode-premium_state":"","libsyn-episode-shortcode":"","libsyn-episode-embedurl":"","inline_featured_image":false,"lovevery_cat_slug":"\/fr\/developpement-de-lenfant\/pourquoi-il-ne-faut-pas-imposer-un-calin\/","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3299],"tags":[3331,3347,3362,3856],"age-range":[3396],"topic":[],"class_list":["post-21095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-developpement-de-lenfant","tag-identite","tag-philosophie-parentale","tag-socio-emotionnel","tag-weekly-series-3","age-range-25-27-mois"],"yoast_head":"\n
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